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Unlock Your Power Through Service

About Selfish Hospitality

“Finally, a book that says the quiet part out loud"

This isn’t a book about serving others.

It’s about owning your power through service.
It’s about the messy, magical, life-affirming ride that is hospitality — and how being great at it can change your life.

Part memoir, part manifesto, part survival guide for the gloriously unhinged service world, Selfish Hospitality shows you how to rise up in the restaurant industry (and in life) by giving more, connecting deeper, and embracing your inner host with zero apologies.

Let me tell you a dirty little secret about hospitality.

It’s not about being selfless.

It’s not about sacrifice.

It’s not about the guest always being right, or about giving until there’s nothing left.

In fact—brace yourself—it’s the opposite.

The greatest hospitality professionals I’ve ever met? The ones who make the biggest impact, who have guests lining up just to be near them, who walk off the floor floating like they’re high on something divine?

They’re not martyrs. They’re selfish.

And before you clutch your pearls or scream blasphemy, let me explain.

I got into this industry like a lot of us do—because I wanted to be around people, because I loved food, because I liked the chaos. But underneath it all, I had this core belief that my job was to give.

Give service.
Give energy.
Give my smile even when I was crumbling inside.
Give patience to the rude table.
Give extra time to the late-night regular.
Give, give, give until there was nothing left.

And for a while, that worked. Sort of.

I’d leave work drained but proud. I’d tell myself that this exhaustion was noble. That I was living the good life because I had “made someone’s night.”

And I did! I made hundreds of nights. Thousands, probably.

But there was always this little itch in the back of my mind… a whisper I ignored for years.

“You’re getting something out of this, too. More than they are.”

THEN IT HIT ME LIKE A SHOT OF OUZO TO THE SOUL

I remember the night it clicked.

It was a Friday double—my feet were on fire, I hadn’t eaten, and my shirt was damp in all the wrong places.

And yet, in the middle of a packed service, I caught this one perfect moment:

I walked by a table just as the main course landed, and this woman gasped. Like, hands-to-her-chest, actual gasp. Her eyes went glassy. She looked at her friend and whispered, “This is the best night I’ve had in years.”

And I felt it. Like a jolt. Like electricity.

That moment fed me more than any family meal ever could.

That’s when I realized:

I was selfish.

Not greedy. Not arrogant. Not entitled.

But selfish in the best, most soul-filling way possible.

Because in giving her that night, I got something I didn’t even know I was starving for—purpose.

Unlock Your Power Through Service

Unlock Your Power Through Service

About Selfish Hospitality

“Finally, a book that says the quiet part out loud"

This isn’t a book about serving others.

Let me tell you a dirty little secret about hospitality.

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